Wednesday, January 8, 2014

"Downton Tabby": A Parody

If you avoid snickering at sacred cows and shibboleths, then this book is not for you. However, if affectionate ridicule—or even downright cattiness—is your cup of tea, then, Dear Reader, pray continue. For I propose to bring you some highlights from Downton Tabby: a Parody, in which the cast of characters who live at said estate have been transmogrified into felines. The family is headed by Robert "Bobcat" Clowder, the Earl of Grimalkin, his American Chât-elaine Korat, their three daughters (Minxy, Etcetera, and Serval) and his mother Vibrissa, the Dowager Catness. Matthmew is the "heir presumptive." The downstairs staff is led by Catson the butler, Mrs Mughes the housecreeper, and Mrs Catmore the cook.
"At Downton Tabby the downstairs cats bowed and scraped, went where they were told, and came when they were called, and their greatest pleasures were a general sense of exhaustion and the slightest sign of approval from their masters. In other words, they worked like dogs."
Emmy Award–winning tv comedy writer Chris Kelly is responsible for this spot-on, pun-filled send-up of the show. He will show you "How to Keep a Secret at Downton Tabby," "How to Argue with Lord Grimalkin About His Most Deeply Held Beliefs," and invite you to chortle at some "Uninvited but Necessary Words from the Dowager."

Pronouncements of the the Dowager Catness:
"Of course cats can speak. We're just not speaking to you!"
"There's more than one way to kill a stoat."
"Don't make a fuss about things like breaking vases. Darting from the room as if shot by a gun is apology enough."
"People who say I'm cold and unemotional have never seen me unravel a roll of toilet paper."
"I'm not 'judging' you. That's far too active a word for it."
Other howlers: "Lady Korat consulted a cattery for a suitable new suitor for Minxy, and they came up with Matthmew Clowder, a cousin she didn't know from a vole in the ground." / "With the war over, and the laser pointer still decades in the future, the cats of England turned their thoughts to love."
Well, if these photos and quotes strike a chord, you know you're a diehard Downtonite and will enjoy the affectionate ribbing Downton Tabby provides.

Don't miss the Daedalus Books "Roaring Downton" Forum—a nexus of books, DVDs, news videos, quizzes, fan chats, and other fascinating items relating to the series.


  1. With regards to the Downton Tabby, I cannot get over the feline version of Rose - "Lady Replacey."

    Also, poor Edith/Etcetera, "the other one."

  2. Yeah, i guess i'm not the only one having a bit of a trouble warming up to Rose/Replacey. She's a bit of a wild card, eh?

  3. Just now saw the baby kitten on the cover--priceless! A Yowler.